This Is Gonna Be A Life!

     This has been the week I guess I was waiting for. The only thing that made me feel in to a direction-less way maybe taken out from myself, from the perspective that seemed to be a big question to me.

     My friend Camille asked me to come with her last wednesday in a small gathering she called KKB. I have heard this once pero wala akong balak alamanin kung what is it all about. I also did told her that I will just be attending for once only.

     Hindi ko naman alam kung anong meron sa small meeting na yun. But to just gave me an idea, she said it was about christianism. And who the heck am I? Ako ang tipo ng taong hindi gugustuhin sumama to that kind of 'get-together'. Wala akong balak maniwala sa mga ganyang pananaw. That was me which seemed to be somehow an atheist.

     Pero dahil mabait ako in my own perspective, sumama ako kay Camz kahit alam kong ang mga sasabihin ng mga tao dun e papasok sa isang tenga ko at will urgently depart to any possible hole in my entire body!

     But to my surprise, Dom made me realized what life is all about. His words even challenged me to prove to myself what was he talking about. But still, that time didn't wholly capture myself. Matigas talaga ulo ko pagdating sa mga ganyang bagay. Hindi ako mabilis maniwala kahit alam kong lahat ng tao sa paligid ko naniniwala na.

     But I must admit that somehow in my stay in Benilde so far, that moment gave color to my life. That somehow in darkness I could see a beam starting to lighten up. Kaya when he said that there will be an  activity the friday of that week, I was so keen to join kahit hindi ko alam kung ano ba talaga ang mangyayari sa akin. Na baka isa lang to sa mga bagay na pagsisisihan ko sa buhay ko.

     And this day came. Kinabahan talaga ako honestly. Pero nang makarating kami sa meeting place, ang cool ng mga tao. They're just like the typical youths na maiingay, makukulit at masasayahing tao. Lalo na si ate rovie na nagpatanggal sa nerbyos ko temporarily. From the moment I stepped in to that place, laughtrip na ako. Akala ko nga comedy bar yung napasukan ko e dahil sa sobrang sakit ng tiyan ko kakatawa.

     The prayer meeting started. And I was starting to feel anxious again for this time. While they were singing with the eyes closed, I am observing them. Sorry! Curious pa kasi ako kung anong usual na ginagawa sa mga ganung fellowship. I felt so ashamed of myself. Makikita mo sa kanila how much they loved Christ . That in a glimpse of them with that scene, parang natatanong ko sa sarili ko kung anong meron sa kanila na wala ako that made them capable of believing in him. Na bakit hirap na hirap akong tanggapin siya sa sarili ko while these fellow people have already accepted Him and offer to Him their lives. Na paano nila na icenter si God sa kanilang buhay while I was having difficulty in putting Him as the reference point of my life.

     I know I will be open to Him someday. I am  still on the process of getting to know what life really was all about. And I know that with the help of these people, I will get a chance of serving Him and offered the life, in the first place, given to me! :|