When Would Next Time Be?

     In life, we have to face the reality that people get in and out of our lives. That after happiness and glee, we all end up saying goodbye to each other while next time would be unpredictable of its arrival. 

     A day is not enough to fill the presence of each one for the long time of missing. And sleepless night together would not load the missing moments of bonding. And sometimes, these day and night would only make you feel alone 'coz after that time, you know in yourself  that the one seating beside you will be gone for unknown period of time. 

     'I know, I have to go away!' A line in a song that we kept on singing while trying to spend the rest of the hours with each company. We sing while an arm was held in each of our shoulders, while drinking tonic water, while eating crispy pata, while seating in a sofa, and while trying to make the most out of the limited time.

     I didn't feel asleep for I know that closing my eyes would mean wasting my time. Watching the sky is the very best thing to do to maximize time, to slower down the hands of the clock. The lights coming from outside would be gone when the day comes out and as goodbye will shortly be uttered. 

     The time was kept on running while the both of us was trying to impede it. But who else can stop it? None does not even one! 

     Laugh. Laugh. Laugh. The only thing we did from that time. Sad emotion has no place between us although I know that emotional is us. No one would let the other know how sad it was to leave a friend. But deep inside is a feeling of strong attachment that was forcefully trying to detach.

     And the time of goodbye came. How hard it was to step a foot outside the door. How hard it was to give last words and advices to the both of us. And how hard for us to turn our backs to each other.

     I hope Spain and Philippines are not distant countries nor different nations so that we could still see and visit each other. How I wish to be with a true friend that really cares about me while in return being a true friend too. But this is not about gives and gifts. It is the love that generate us to be like that and do it that way. 

     We yet promise to see each other again while giving presents to each of us. We just don't know when would that happen. I don't wanna wait forever nor for a single day 'coz someone special is worth having and living for. How I wish that next time would be so soon while soon is tomorrow! :((

I wish you the best my friend!!! ;(

When Rejection Does Not Meet Acceptance...

     It is hard to feel the acceptance when you are rejected by your loved ones most especially, and often times, by your family. This was what I reflected when yesterday came in to my life.

     I was shocked by a phone call of a friend saying that yesterday was gonna be our last day with Aldin. He has decided to enter seminary. I know that that was a long run before we could be able to see him again. He is now in the searching process and I am hoping that he has fully offered his life to Him and that he could situate himself while on the process. Well honestly it is hard for me, and for the other friends, to accept that fact. I didn't even expect this. He's undeniably just a typical teenager who only wanted in life is to have fun and enjoy the life he has although he didn't even forget that there's a foster family that still care and worry on his decisions.

     He frequently confronts us when we were still classmates about the tension happening between him and his half-sister. And that happens over and over again, until this very moment. I didn't know who his lifters are when we went separate ways. All I know is that he cares much, respects much and loves much his family.

     He actually wrote a letter to every one of us, his friends and his so-much-loved family. He even withdrew his money from the bank to lend a hand to his nephew who has heart disorder. I didn't see him cries, but I deeply know this guy. He didn't cry when everyone is up, when he is in front of us. But I can see to his face, for the last moment we have that time, that he is happy with his choice. Only, he worries so much with his family.

     I remember he said to me when we and Niño were going to QC, where the brothers were housed, that he has escaped from his home the last night. His family didn’t concur to this very big decision not because they were against the calling but the fact that they are in the midst of a great problem. His new-born nephew got a heart disorder. And this is the time when they need the presence of him.

     There's so much speculation with his decision. And that hurts me. Well, I am not religious. Maybe in the group, I am the exact opposite of him that is why he didn't want to see me 'coz he thought that I might just stop him from doing it so. But I didn't even think that he has come to that extent just because he wanted to get far-off his problems. That is absolutely wrong.

     I remember the time he assured us that he will enter the seminary after he got a work and helped his family. That is why I was shocked by the phone call I got with that message. I thought it was a hoax and they are just trippin on me. But when I asked him about it, he humbly said that material things are not the important reason why we lived here. He might scrap the opportunities he has most especially the full scholarship he got. But that will not help his family a lot. He knew that prayer is the most powerful thing we have and the service he is now offering to God is the very best right choice to decide. He got his calling. He didn't want to snob God so he follow it promptly.

     When we came to his house the night after we leave him at QC to give to his family the letter he has made, we got a short talk with his brother-in-law. I felt guilty during that moment. It is awful to feel that they didn't support our buddy's decision. That is the only thing I guess he needs now. But what hurts a lot was when they are accusing the brothers for influencing him to that decision. I know Aldin opted it alone. The brothers are just there to guide him in making that decision.

     In the right time, I know his family will understand all this. And I am hoping that that moment is very soon. He actually asked us to give the address to his family so that in time the wounds were healed, they could visit him and show to him the support he was asked for.

     And us, his friends, we are just here to support and love him. If he couldn’t find the support he needs for now from his family, we could be their substitute, although I know that this is just a bit of what he really calls for. Good luck Din! After several years, I am proud to call you Brother and years after, Father!

Time Machine, Sana Totoo Ka Na Lang :(

     Isang taon na rin pala nung huli kong makita ang mga klasmeyt ko, as in ung buong section. From that time kasi wala ng reunion na naganap. Maraming planong ginawa pero hindi natutuloy kasi sympre busy rin naman ang lahat sa mga college lives nila. Pero kami ng barkada ko at least may mga times na nagkikita kami .Kapag may mga holidays o araw na walang pasok, we immediately grab the oppurtunity para magkita-kita.

     Of course we misses each other lalo na ung mga kalokohan namin. Pero tuwing nagkikita kami hindi kami kumpleto. Ung isa laging wala. Parang totoo nga ung hula sa amin  ng matanda sa may tabi ng bahay nila aldrin e. Sabi nia after graduation daw hindi na kami kumpleto. May isang mawawala daw sa amin. Pero we didn't take it seriously kasi mahirap paniwalaan. Pero ngayon parang nangyayari na. But hopefully hindi totally mangyari. Sana nga totoong he is taking his study seriously para may valid reason kung bakit hindi siya nakakasama sa amin.

     Nakakamiss rin yung mga pinaggagawa namin sa skul. Mga moments na akala namin walang katapusan. Mga araw na akala namin habambuhay na kaming magkaklase at habambuhay na kaming magiging hayskul. Ang sarap balikan ng mga panahong hindi matapos tapos ang mga halakhak at tawanan sa klase. At minsan, mga luhang pumapatak sa mga babae dahil sa away o kadalasan sa mga heart-to-heart talks nila.

     Ang sarap din alalahanin ung mga araw na busy ang lahat kakagawa ng mga projects na pasahan na mamaya. Mga assignments na binabalewala namin kasi alam naman naming may mapagkokpyahan kami. At higit sa lahat ay ang walang kamatayang kopyahan sa loob ng room sa tuwing may mga exams kami. Ilang techniques ba ang nagawa ng barkada para lang makakopya at makapasa sa mga exams. Marami e. Wait niyo next post ko, iisa-isahin ko.

     Kahit nakakatakot yung ibang mga teachers namin like Ma'am Atienza, ang sarap pa ring balikan yung mga araw na kasama namin sila. Actually ako, I will admit, na tuwing aakyat ako sa classrooom for her class, kinakabahan ako. Hindi ko kasi alam kung ano na namang katakot-takot na pasabog ang sasabihin niya sa amin. Pagagalitan na naman ba kami o may exams na naman bang dictations? Alam ko ganito rin ang nararamdaman ng mga klasmeyt ko tuwing oras na yun. Ang sarap maramdaman ulit yung feelings during that time. Pero kung babalikan ko yung time na yun pwede isang araw lang? HAHAHA

    Dahil sa unity ng barkada, muntik na kaming masuspend sa klase. Parang idinemanda kami ng isang teachers sa supreme court. Ganun ang feeling. Nakakatakot? siguro pero mas masaya ang pakiramdam. Una, kung may suspension, walang pasok. Kung walang pasok, may pahinga kami. E sino ba naman ayaw magpahinga? Pabor kami doon. Mas gusto pa namin yun. One more thing, kung nangyari sana yung suspension, first time naming maeexperience yun. Ang sarap kaya sa pakiramdam maranasan ung mga experiences na hindi mo pa nagagawa, maganda man o hindi. Napakaoverwhelming. Feeling ko kasi mas naexplore ko ung life dahil sa mga ganung bagay. Yung mga teachers kasi  tingin sa amin mga model student na unting  maling gawa, sisitahin at pagagalitan kami na parang kahihiyan ng buong school. Estudyante rin naman kami. Mga teenagers na puno ng kalokohan. Hindi naman kami naiiba sa nakakarami. Tao rin kami, laging nagkakamali. Sana maintindihan nila yun.

     Namimiss ko rin yung mga pagka-cut namin ng mga classes. Ginagawa namin yun tuwing malapit nang matapos yung school year. Wala na naman kasing ginagawa e. By the way, kaya pala kami muntik na masuspend ay dahil sa pagka-cut ng classes. And aside from pagka-cut, instead of enterring the school at 7:00am, minsan pumapasok na kami ng 8:30 or 9:00. Tapos magka-cut pa. HAHA. Sana hindi na lang kami pumasok.

     Ang sarap  din balikan yung mga araw na gumagala kami sa MOA o kung saan-saan. Tuwing pumupunta ako sa seaside, parang nakikita ko yung mga kalokohan namin doon. Hindi ko nga makalimutan yung araw na nakakita kami ng 3000 pesos sa labas ng Hypermarket. Pinaghatihatian namin yun. Hindi namin alam kung irereport ba namin un sa security o itatago na lang namin. Napunit pa nga ung isang libo dahil sa pag-aagawan namin. At habang nasa seaside kami, kung anu-ano yung naiisip namin. Like baka magkatsunami kasi hindi namin binalik yung pera. O kaya may isang mahulog sa dagat. O baka naman may nakakita sa amin tapos i-report. E nakaschool uniform pa naman kami. Kahihiyan yun sa school kung saka-sakali. Paranoid kami pero masaya.

     Matagal na rin kaming hindi nakakapunta sa may simbahan malapit sa MOA. Nung hindi pa tapos at inoopen sa public yung MOA, yung gilid ng simbahan ang tambayan namin.  Ang sarap tumambay dun. Tahimik at unti lang ang tao. Namimitas pa kami ng mga amorseco sa paligid  tapos ibabato sa mga kasama namin. Paramihan ng amorsecong nakadikit sa damit. Hanggang sa jeep may mga baon kaming Amorseco. Pati si manong driver hindi namin pinatakas. Dinidikitan namin yung damit niya sa likod.

     Nakakamiss rin yung mga contest na sinasalihan namin. 3peat champion kami sa Rap-a-math. At lagi kaming humahakot ng awards tuwing English, Math, Filipino at Science week. HIndi kami nagpapatalo sa mga higher levels at hindi rin kami nagpatalo sa mga lower levels. Ang sarap gumawa ng mga slogans. Sumali sa poster making kahit hindi naman kami marunong ni Lex magdrawing. Pati essay writing pinatos namin kahit wala kaming talent sa pagsusulat. Pati paggawa ng bulletin board game kami. Kahit kami ang pinakahuling nagpasa okay lang. Maganda naman yung nagawa namin. Yun nga lang hindi nanalo. Kahit hindi kami nanalo basta winner naman ang mga klasmeyts ko Ayos na. Proud ako kasi klasmeyt ko yung nanalo. Ganito kami. We always cheer everybody up.

     Sino ba naman makakalimot kay 'Ice Princess'? Siya lang naman ang misterious girl na klasmeyt namin na tagagawa ng mga chismis sa classroom. Sa pagkakatanda ko hindi naman niya sinisiraan yung buong klase. May mga ilang classmate lang kami na pangit yung sinasabi niya. Pero sa akin 'Arthro' lang ang tawag niya. And I think wala namang masama dun. Siguro kaibigan ko siya kaya hindi pangit yung sinabi niya. Until now hindi pa rin namin siya kilala pero hindi na namin hinahanap kung sino siya. Ang importante enjoy kaming lahat sa company ng bawat isa. Wala nang plastikan at awayan. At alam ko namang nagsisisi siya sa ginawa niya. Kasi kung hindi, sana hindi siya nawala ng parang bigla. Siguro rin naramdaman na din niya na isa siya sa amin kaya tinigilan na niya.

     Sympre hindi mawawala ang mga lovelife ng bawat isa. Mga crushes nung first year na nauwi sa Boyfriend-girlfriend nung third year at fourth year. Mga first loves namin. At mga M.U dati na hindi na nasundan pa. Hindi naman kasi lahat ng pagtibok ng puso tama. Minsan nagkakamali rin kami kaya may mga nasasaktan. Pero hindi namin hinahayaang masira yung pagkakaibigan sa mga ganoong rason. Time will heal. And I think it did.

     Habang tumatagal mas lalong nagiging close ang lahat sa bawat isa. Mas nakikilala namin yung mga sarili namin at ang mga kaibigan namin. At ngayon mas matatag na ang pagkakaibigan namin. Alam kong hanggang sa pagtanda hindi na mababali yung relasyong meron sa amin. Salamat at naging kaibigan ko kayo. I promise hindi ko kayo makakalimutan.

     Minsan nga tumatawa na lang ako sa bahay o kahit saang lugar kapag naaalala ko yung mga pinaggagagawa namin. Nagmumukha akong baliw sa mata ng mga taong nakakita sa akin. Okay lang. Hindi ko ipagpapalit yung masayang alaalang iyon sa mga masamang iniisip at iisipin pa ng mga tao. Gusto ko na ulit manlait, kasama si Lex at Glads, ng mga taong nakakasalubong at nakikita namin especially si bespren at si Rey Valera . Gusto ko na ulit barahin yung mga jokes ni Aldin kasama ang buong tropa ng Gee-gurlz. Gusto ko na ring kumain kasama sila Drin, Roel, Jim, Igi at Da tuwing lunch time. Gusto na ring humalakhak kasama si Aimee, Arby, Kim, Van, Reg at Abbie. Namimiss ko na ring lokohin si Luz kay Aldin. At namimiss ko na rin yung unbeatable tandem namin ni Carlatot. Mga tiradang walang humpay at mga jokes na palung-palo la lahat.

     Hay, kung pwede lang bumalik sa nakaraan gagawin ko. Kung posible lang ang pagtawid sa nakalipas game ako.  Sana nga totoo. At sana nga totoo na lang ang timemachine! :((